Birth Control

Well, I've ingested my fair share of birth control lately.

I've just returned from a quick visit with our neighbors, who have a three week old daughter. (Well-timed...in regard that we are considering going for that life-changing "#2".) Here's what we talked about...breastfeeding problems...zero sleep...crying jags (both mother and child) for 40 minutes at a time...trips to the pediatrician because you're "just sure something is wrong"...humiliating trips home when it turns out there is nothing wrong...feeling completely inadequate...knowing you are completely inadequate, although you managed to run an adult life just fine a couple of weeks ago.

What the hell happened?!

Oh yeah. The baby came out.

Well, put 'im back in.

There has been more than one occasion when, in my rearview-mirror longing for an easier pre-child past, I've guiltily wished that we had a receipt for Ari. Granted, I get a little tired and testy at times myself, and his life would probably be easier at moments if I was not his mother. But then, can't we all say that about our moms, and our kids?

The word "easy" doesn't really come with parenthood. In fact, it is anti parenthood. There's nothing easy about it. Yes (sigh), everyone told us this before Ari came out...but you never know how crazy hard it's going to be until you're right there, at 3 am, completing your 80th messy and painful nursing of the day, running on 40 consecutive minutes of sleep and wondering when you're going to stop bleeding "down under" or when you can sit up on your own (if you've been cut open to get the kid out). My apologies (sarcasm heavily implied) if this is too graphic for the delicate men in the crowd.

It doesn't get too much easier as they grow, I'm finding. It's just that the hard things change. We've just completed our eleventy billionth grouchy period. You know...one of those 1-3 week lengths when every little thing is a battle and cause for major meltdown. These periods usually end in our house when I finally break down and have an evening-long cry jag myself, sobbing over and over that there's no way I'll have another child. Ari then wakes up the next morning in a completely normal and happy mood. This has happened on more than one occasion. So, go figure.

Please tell me we are not the only parents who experience this. On second thought, don't tell me anything at all. I'd rather just assume that every other toddler is like this.

For the past few weeks, it's been a battle of wills. I only just now figured it out. Lame momma. He's been pushing and pushing and wheedling to get his way, seeing how much power he can take...erupting like a clinging-to-my-leg Mt. Vesuvius when said way is not attained. This, in turn, causes a baffled mom to also erupt like Mt. Vesuvius. Except I do not cling. I just yell. Loudly. Once. And then I feel terrible. Usually, praying for grace and patience helps...but on some days...some of you know those days...nothing but a Rum&Coke will keep the explosion from rocking forth. And Rum&Coke's can only happen once dad's on duty...which leaves daylight hours raw and un-medicated.

I know my son is not Pure Evil. I know this because, during the GrouchFest, he has these beautiful moments of love and care (i.e. gently touching my face, petting the cat so sweetly, grinning up at me as if I were the sun itself, hugs upon request). He'll even, once in a while, exhibit some contrition when it's clear he's stepped over the line. With his hand upon my shoulder, he'll bend down to look up into my face, with a hopeful expression, as I clean up whatever mess he's experimentally/angrily thrown about...or...as I clean up the pee that has splashed all over as I chased him around with the fresh diaper he'd soulfully refused to don. I just wish he'd choose to use his powers for good more often.

And so...birth control.

Despite all of this...and despite common sense, self-preservation and duty to the world's increasing population, we are still considering that second child. Should we be so lucky.

On the wildlife front...

It's been a productive morning over here in Frontierland (a nod to Disney enthusiasts in the crowd). I got up early, because I was awake and because a grocery list was unabashedly forcing itself through my groggy subconscious. Ahhhh...the luster of a stay-at-home Mom's life.

So I came downstairs, fed the cats, started my coffee and then let said cats out onto the patio to explore, per usual. As I was enjoying my very quiet cup of early morning coffee and recording that highly insitant grocery list, I glanced out the window to see how the cats were doing on the patio.

Huh.

There they were. Both of them. Nose to nose, down on the brick.

Oh uh.

For Chrissakes, it's a walled-in 8x20 patio. What interloper could have possibly intruded upon their space? Reluctantly, I got up to check on their latest victim. As I pulled Mo back and peered over his pudgy shoulder, I saw a gray, fuzzy moth. Oh, a moth. Mo just looooves moths. Don't know why. It may be something about the wings that stick out of his mouth and flutter while he's eating the body. I'm not kidding. It's kind of fascinating (and yet insanely grotesque) to watch.

No wait. It was two moths. Stuck butt to butt. Yep, you've got it folks. They were "doin' it" (to quote my husband's beloved phrase). So, my two sweet cats had trapped two poor moths in their rapture, while they were completely unable to fly. Granted, it probably wasn't "rapture"...more utilitarian in nature, I'm sure But still...the idea just didn't sit well with me...being eaten while having sex. So I yelled, "Nooo. Bad kitties." And yanked them away.

It didn't take much persuasion for Bella, who hasn't quite the taste for moths. Plus, she scares easy. Mo, on their other hand, resisted. Mightily. Did I mention he loves moths? And two stuck together? Jackpot. But I did manage to pry him away and then went back to my grocery list.

A couple minutes later, I could see Mo in the living room. He was munching.

Oh, what the fu...?

Yeh. One and a half moths lay on the rug. The whole one was twitching. Eck.

After a "nonononono" to Mo (which I'm sure he didn't quite get since he was relatively peeved over losing his snack), I grabbed some paper towels to put Casanova out of his poor, twitching misery, all the while praying, "I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry. Please Dear God, forgive me."

Later, Ari tracked a daddy long legs across the hallway floor. Eyes of a hawk, that one.

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Things I've learned as a Mom and a Cat-Person

1. A washable crayon really does wash out of pretty much everything. And I do mean everything.
2. A skinny cat can and will jump and pin a frightened bat that is stuck in the house.
3. Toilets hold a certain mystique for toddlers.
4. Same with toilet paper.
5. If a cat is sitting on you, very relaxed, and then quickly sniffs his butt and starts cleaning it...it's already too late.
6. Left to his own devices, a toddler sitting in a grocery cart will stretch his tiny body a foot and a half to reach a Cadbury Egg sitting on a nearby shelf. I didn't witness this, as I was picking out butter at the time. A kind stranger told me.
7. There's a certain meditative quality to Sesame Street.
8. That crayon that washes out of everything...does not wash out of a Nalgene water bottle after being dropped in it yesterday.
9. When you get up in the morning and the cats vacate rather than beg for breakfast...just brace yourself.
10. Oh. And a crayon in a water bottle? Hilarious.

Sadness

Pain is the difference between what is and what I want it to be.

— Spencer Johnson, from The Precious Present

We have some dear friends in Ann Arbor, Diane and Craig, who are grieving right now.

Craig's mom, Pat, lost her life in a car accident yesterday, Tuesday March 4. I never had the prividedge of meeting Pat but I do know that she is a loving Mom and devoted Grandma who cared for Diane and Craig's son, Ryan, part time during the week. Ryan calls her "Oma".

Could you please, as you travel through your day, week, and month, send up some prayers, some blessings and some loving energy for Pat and her family. They have a bumpy road ahead.

Thank you and love to you all.

This Week's Happenings

Ari really got into his tooth brushing the other night. I think he's teething. Again. Still.

For an indoor play day, with wet and stormy skies outside, Wednesday was rather full. Ari has taken to building towers and really using his mega blocks in the way God intended. He filled up his train with blocks the night before and built this tower on it in the morning while Sascha and I were in the kitchen.

He got his hair cut this week. It'll probably grow out funny because I did it myself with a slightly dull scissors, while he sat on my lap, cringed and smushed his face into my chest each time the scissors came anywhere near his ears (where's the faith?). Not our finest moment. And there's one curl that's still an inch longer than the rest of it...it's too close to his ear, in his opinion. A solid "no". At least until Sesame Street comes on and he's distracted.

And it looks like the little bugger may have discovered dizziness. And how much fun it can be. He's taken to spinning and spinning and spinning to any music that comes on.

***funny video coming once the damned software works...serenity now, serenity now, serenity now***

Sascha joined us at Gymboree today (Friday). It's Ari's last day in the Level 3 class (Graduation Day!! - not really), which is for 10-16 month olds. They forced us to move up to Level 4 (16-22 mo's), even though he's really digging this class. Ari thought it was pretty cool to have Dad at Gymboree, "Hey Pops, look what I can do!"

Observings

It cracks me up how toddlers run to evade a parent during a game of "chase".

Belly first.

Prancing on their toes.

As if a string attached to the navel is the only thing pulling them along - and high stepping on their toes is the only way to keep up.

Hum Drum

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated anything here. I've even had a few people ask about it. And that's a little embarrasing...being questioned as to why you're so behind on a volunteer project. So what's my excuse? Not much going on? Bored with the whole blogging thing? A recalcitrant urge to shut others out of my life? No. Not really. For the past three weeks, we've been one of the following things:

a) sick

b) incredibly grouchy (we're talking a 10 day grouch spat. no. ari, not me. jeesh.)

c) sick again

d) exhausted and irritable (me this time)

e) out enjoying life

Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been all bad. Except for that dose of stomach flu we all came down with. Good God. I haven't been that sick in over 20 years...well, self-induced sickness (compliments of tequila) doesn't count. Oh, and that bout of incredible crankiness on Ari's part (I swear he turned evil for a while) wasn't too pleasant. But otherwise, things have been cruisin' right along here.

I'm getting a rhythm down with this whole cooking-shopping-and-feeding-my-family thing. And I don't resent it like I used to :). I've actually started to bake again and, thanks to a Cookin' Mommas of San Diego group, I've started to enjoy my mess-making time in the kitchen. Ari and I have a nice little social, get-out-and-explore routine...which clearly involves being exposed to several bugs, germs and mayhem-inducing viruses. Several people from back home have pondered at why we keep getting sick. Everyone just assumed that since the weather was nice all the time, then we'd be healthy all the time. Well, suffice it to say, the two (pretty weather and sickness) are not mutually exclusive. Ari, and by default, his parents, have been sick a total of 6 times in the 6+ months we've been here. This drives Sascha up the friggin' wall. He's not used to feeling poorly. Sascha was recently chatting with someone at work about this and they said this isn't status quo (a lot of people have been sick here this winter). One theory floating around is that it all stems from toxins released in the October fires. I'm doubtful, but it's nice to know this isn't "business as usual."

This past week has been a stay-at-home week, with Ari battling his second sickness in a month. This one's just a nasty cough with a runny nose - and he's pretty beat, lots of naps. So we're taking it easy hanging out in the driveway and playing with some water-filled Tuppeware, sorting laundry in the bedroom, playing with his books and animals, or "cleaning" (he spends a good portion of his day "cleaning"). The slower pace is actually kind of nice. I thought we had to be all "go-go-go" in order for him to be happy because that's what he has always seemed to need. But I think even he liked the slower pace...just hanging out with Mom. Our big thing this week was going to Home Depot for a field trip in the garden department. He likes to sniff the plants. And I finally bought a couple of house plants and planted them in little pots while Ari played with water in the driveway. It's amazing the difference a little green will make in your house. Just that one little thing makes it feel more like a "home" and less like a box.

Reading back over this, I'm thinking, "Why on earth am I publishing this? It's boring as hell." But such is life, I guess. It can't all be rocket ships and wizards. Sometimes it's just Thursday.

Post-water-play organization.

Ari "cleaned up" on his own. He stacked and organized the cups and emptied the Tuppeware. I didn't touch it, all I asked him to do was "clean up the water".

Happy Valentines Day

Hello All - Happy Hearts Day to you!

Below is a video of Ari playing with his V-Day gift from Grandma & Grandpa S. If you listen closely, you can hear him make the monkey sound. It's actually a pretty boring video...but not if you're a grandparent, I guess :).

On an off-note, it is absolutely pouring here this morning. It doesn't happen all that often, so I'm always giddy when it does. Even though we have to watch Sesame Street to kill an hour indoors. Ari's been sick lately, so resting inside doesn't bother him too much. The poor little guy took a 4 hour nap yesterday (plus an hour in the morning) - we finally had to wake him up at 7:30 last night for fear he'd be up until 2 a.m. No fear needed, he konked out again an hour and a half later.

I'll try to write an update for the past few weeks I've been off the blog...maybe this afternoon during the A-man's nap. Until then...


***sorry Mom, the uploader (AGAIN) is not working...